One of my chic, uber-hip friends who makes me cooler for just knowing her is coming to meet Brooke.
It will not be an easy visit for her…..
And it won’t be easy for me because I have been in her shoes (sort of)….and I will never forget.
You see, my uber-hip friend is suffering from secondary infertility.
What does that mean?
In her case it means that with her first child it was so easy.
She got pregnant immediately, had an easy pregnancy, even an easy delivery (20 minutes) and had a baby that slept through the night at 7 weeks.
Life was good.
And life is still good it’s just more challenging for her these days.
It pains me. It seems like when one of us leaves the “struggling team” another one gets up to bat.
If my memory serves me correctly she tried for almost a year before she became pregnant again…..
Only to suffer a miscarriage.
And then another.
And another.
I’ve heard people say things like “well at least she has one, she should count her blessings.”
And that is not fair.
It is true she has a child to love and hold but her pain is valid and her pain is real.
I know our visit will be a tearful one….
Tears of sadness and joy…..
Joy for The Girl FINALLY arriving….
And sadness for my friend’s struggle.
But my friend needs to know how brave I think she is.
“Just keep telling me I’ll get there…” she said in one of her emails.
You’ll get there my friend.
And I am here for you.
I must say it on a daily basis…..
Becoming a parent is not easy…..
No matter what path you take….
And some journeys are harder than others.
I will be glad when the day comes that instead of leaning on each other for support as we struggle to become mothers we can simply set up play dates with our kids.
Unfortunately with 7.3 million infertile American’s a year—-that day might never come.
Love much,
xob
Having someone in your life who “gets it” is such a gift. You are both lucky to have each other. I am in your dear friend’s shoes. Well meaning people do say the most “helpful” things.
We are now on our path to growing our family through adoption. Life takes you places you never intended to go. It helps to have friends on the way.
Hi. I read this post and I am so sorry for what your friend is going through.
There is a part in your post that I would like to borrow, with your permission.
“Becoming a parent is not easy….. No matter what path you take….
And some journeys are harder than others.”
I was asked to be a guest blogger on an infertility blog and I just really thought that phrase was so fitting. I will give you credit.
Thank you so much and congrats on your daughter.
Tammy of course you can borrow that line —if you would please just credit with a link http://www.aninfertileblonde.com
Love much,
xob
I just found your blog today and I read each and every one of your posts in one sitting. I am so inspired by your strength and courage to talk about your infertility struggles and your journey to become a parent.
I am currently in the middle of my own struggle, and so much of what you discuss in your posts has hit close to home. When my husband and I first started “trying,” we had no idea what a difficult journey this would be. It is now 20 months later and I am on my third reproductive endocrinologist, and (hopefully) about to start injectibles within the next week. I am scared, mostly because I am afraid that we will never get pregnant. Your story gives me hope that we will one day become parents. Thank you for inspiring me and so many others! Congratulations on your new baby girl!