For 28 months I fought for The Girl on a daily basis (or so it seemed to me).

And now she’s here.

I stare at her everyday in disbelief.

I am in awe and I am so grateful.

Friends and family all say, “now you can relax.”

But I can’t.

I’m still angry.

Something’s gotta give.

Why did it take so long?

Why is this process so difficult?

Why are there so many rules?

And at the same time why aren’t there enough rules?

Why do adoptive parents have to sign away all their rights for any agency or lawyer to represent them?

Why does it seem as if only the adoptive parents are accountable for anything?

Why do adoptive parents assume all the financial responsibility and all the risk?

And why oh why does it cost so much?

 I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again— I do not expect adoption professionals to work for free but the costs as they stand now are just prohibitive for most.

Would anyone like to answer these questions for me?

And please don’t say “that’s just the way it is.”

That’s just not an acceptable answer.

Because here’s the reality: If the cost of adoption continues to skyrocket then fewer American’s will be able to adopt—-and what will that mean for the children who need to be adopted?  

It means they won’t be….and then what?

Love much,

xob

Yesterday I walked in to the apartment to find this.

I mean honestly.

Has she no shame?

And the funniest thing is that she made no effort to move….and as you can see, even posed for the picture.

Jake says she’s mad because  Brooke’s car seat has taken her spot in the car. 

“Now she  has to sit in the way back of the car with my pool toys and maybe she doesn’t want to sit next to the blue noodle?”

Could be.

But honestly Miss Bitz……

Good thing I love you so much…..

Love much,

xob

Ohhhhhh did I forget…….

I forgot how much work babies were…..

All good work mind you but between The Girl, The Boy and The Ladies, I have little time for anything else…..

So please accept my apology for neglecting An Infertile Blonde….

It has been very interesting to watch The Boy adapt to this new person in the house.

He’s been great—hasn’t really missed a beat.

He has, however, grown up…..

Since The Girl came home I’ve been asked the following questions:

“What are birthparents?”

“Who are my birthparents?”

“Did you grow me in your belly?”

“Why did you adopt me?”

“Why doesn’t Brooke have a penis?”

I have answered every question honestly and directly —even the penis one.

Just the simple truth.

No code words…..

No holding back.

Just the truth….

and as I watch him process the information….

I think I fell a little more in love with him……

These are big concepts for a little boy….

Who am I kidding……

These are big concepts for anyone….

Love much,

xob

In my world babies come from Maine and Texas.

Maybe you should have Asked An Infertile Blonde.

Love much,

xob

I had no idea it existed…..

Not until I brought the boy home.

There is an unexplainable magic that comes with adopted children.

Strange, wonderful things happen…..

and unexpectedly, other’s share their stories….

There’s a bond.

So I guess I should have been expecting it with The Girl…..

But I had forgotten about the Magic.

Until last Friday.

I had taken The Girl on her first walk with “The Ladies”  and we were back in our building  waiting for the elevator.

There were two other people waiting. 

I had never seen them before as our building is pretty big.

The woman said with a smile as she looked in to the stroller….”Did you just have a baby? My you look wonderful.”

I took off my sunglasses, smiled back and said “technically….and thank you….she’s adopted.”

The woman’s face lit up and her eyes welled with tears….”I’m adopted!” she said.

At this point the man next to her perked up and said “You won’t believe this, but I’m adopted too.”

And there you have it. 

Turns out the woman lives in the apartment directly above us and the man several floors up.

The magic of adoption.

So Brooke and I rode up in the elevator with our new friends….

and I felt like the odd man out.

Love much,

xob

Yesterday after school, Jake and I bought our Christmas Tree.

After I put the lights on  Jake insisted that the Star go on before the ornaments.

We don’t own a ladder.

So I did what I had to do and quite frankly it’s a miracle we didn’t fall into the tree.

You may or may not know that Christmas is my favorite time of year….

And as Jake and I unpacked the boxes of ornaments he wanted to know about each one.

And it was then that I realized that our tree tells a story.

We’ve got ornaments from Barney’s and Bergdorfs mixed in with some from Target and CVS……

We’ve got ornaments Jake made…..

We’ve even got one Kipp made as a child—a pom-pom caterpillar.

We’ve got all of Jake’s first Christmas ornaments —-he has about 5.

We’ve got ornaments from vacations—-my favorite might be the “Welcome to LasVegas” sign.

And when The Boy was born I started a new tradition for our family…..

Every year he gets a special ornament and I write his initials and the year somewhere on it.

Then when he has a tree of his own someday he’ll have a box of ornaments that tell his story.

So far he has his Baby’s First Christmas Ornaments, a bulldozer, a taxi, an apple with the NYC Skyline on it and this year he got a fire engine.

Now don’t think for a minute that I wasn’t planning ahead when I bought the boy his fire engine…..

This Christmas, The Girl got her first ornament from her mom…..

A pink sparkly cupcake from Bergdorf’s.

The Boy hung it on the tree and said “Brooke is going to love this.”

And tomorrow when he head Rockefeller Center to look at the tree, we’ll be on the lookout for a Baby’s First Christmas ornament for The Girl—she’s got a little catching up to do.

Love much,

xob

So the girl has had her first plane ride.

Yesterday we flew from Texas to NYC.

And as the plane landed, the stewardess (are we still allowed to call them that?) said “Ladies and Gentlemen…….Welcome to New York.”

I was over come with emotion and had to hold back the tears.

We were home.

We were finally home.

I still pinch myself to make sure it’s true.

I am not going to go into the 28 month struggle now….

And I am going to hold off on talking about how this adoption cost DOUBLE what Jake’s did.

I am going to enjoy these moments.

I am going to enjoy Christmas.

And in January maybe I’ll have the energy to fill you in.

But for now I have so many other things to share with you…..

I just don’t know where to start.

So much happened on our “Texas Adventure” as Jake calls it…..

Jake learned what birthparents are and met Brooke’s…..

Jake asked about his birthparents —wanted to know their names…

And Jake asked “Why did you adopt me Mommy?”

But the most important thing that happened this past week was that two amazing people chose our family to adopt, raise and love their baby girl.

To say “thank you” just doesn’t suffice.

I’ve struggled for the words for weeks now….

But I think they know how I feel.

Welcome to our family my friends…..you will forever be a part of it.

Love much,

xob