First things first…..

I just got an email from Amazon that my Crock Pot has shipped!

Unfortunately not the cook book, but I’ll live.

For those of you who sent recipes thank you!

Now I just have to figure out what to try first….am thinking the ribs!

And now onto the topic of the day…..

My second adoption.

Ahhhh the bane of my existence these days….

The fact that for over two years (27 months to be exact) I have been trying to become a mother again. 

I was just talking to a friend who started her adoption process well after we had completed our paperwork and home study.

I remember her saying that she was so jealous (in a loving way) that we were going to get our baby before her.

Well my friends…..

It is I who is jealous….

Her baby (her adopted baby) just turned 1 1/2 and she adopted him as a newborn.

So I find myself sitting here at my desk truly overjoyed for her and her family….because why wouldn’t I be…..

But wondering where oh where did I go wrong?

Love much,

xob

I’ve finally done it.

I’ve been talking about it since last year….

I just never got around to it.

I just bought my first Crock Pot.

I had to have one.

I hear they are just great—and you know how I am in the kitchen.

I also bought the “suggested” book: Biggest Book of Slow Cooker Recipes and am not sure if the title is referring to the pot or me?

Will keep you posted on my progress—

And of course would love any recipe suggestions.

Love much,

xob

It’s funny how we see things.

And I am very used to seeing things differently—-

I see things differently than my parents.

I usually see things differently than my siblings.

I often see things differently than my husband.

I see things differently than a lot of people….

And I am frequently judged by the rest of the world because I do.

But I love it.

I am proud of what I see.

I am proud of what I stand for.

And in spite of having my own views on adopiton…..I am always up for a good debate, and welcome others to disagree with me—-that is, after all, how you learn.

And I am determined to change the world of adoption for the better—so let’s talk about it.

A recent comment on An Infertile Blonde suggests that television portrays adoption as “fluffy rainbows.”

Of all the comments I’ve received recently this is the one that stopped me dead in my tracks.

Because I think you and I are watching different shows.

When I was going through my infertility treatments I was terrified of adoption.  And I always used to say that I had watched too many “movies of the week”, seen too many news stories on “adoptions gone bad”, and read too many articles that “sensationalized adoption.”

But when I realized Adoption was the only way I would be able to have a child, I had no choice but to set my fears (rational or not) aside, put myself out there and put my trust in others, not the media.

As for the comment “Can’t you get a LITTLE sad for them” —-meaning adoptees who have feelings of neglect and abandonment—

YES I am sad for them, from the bottom of my heart.

I am sad for any child who does not have parents that feel that the sun rises and sets by them—ADOPTED OR NOT.

I am sad for any child who does not live in a loving home—ADOPTED OR NOT.

I am sad for any child who is mistreated in our world—-ADOPTED OR NOT.

Now, as for seeing the other side of things…..

I wonder if you’ve ever watched someone you love go through infertility treatments?

I wonder if you’ve ever watched someone you love have miscarriage after miscarriage?

I wonder if you’ve ever watched someone you love go through radiation treatments for their Cancer knowing that if they survived they would never have biological children?

And I wonder if you’ve ever watched someone you love bury their child because unbeknownst to them, they were the carriers of a rare genetic disease?

I wonder if you’ve ever stepped back and thought about adoption from their perspectives?

These are just some of the realities of the REAL people that pursue adoption every year.

And I don’t believe that they should be have to live a childless life when there are so many children in our world that need parents.

Parents who are willing to go to financial extremes and in some cases financial ruin to simply bring these children who they unconditionally love (without even knowing them) into their homes.

That is my reality.

That is my view on adoption.

And if my son grows up resenting the fact that he was adopted then I have failed him as a mother.

To all my new readers, please keep reading.  I welcome your opinions.

I also hope that you’ll stay in touch.

Because when my son is old enough to share HIS opinion on adoption with you, I am sure he’ll have a few things to say.

Love much,

xob

In this month’s Harper’s Bazaar there’s a cute piece by Rita Wilson who I love.

She talks about getting older and what works and doesn’t work for her fashion wise.

She talks about what she wishes she could wear but just can’t……

And she talks about things she steers clear from.

Made me laugh.

She also states in her “wish list” that she wishes her boobs would shrink with age—she says hers are just getting bigger.

Oh Rita…..

Maybe we should talk…..

Because I think I got your wish and you got mine.

Love much,

xob

I’m having one.

I’m not sure why.

But I keep asking myself and wondering……

Where would I be in my life if I had closed the door on adoption?

Where would I be if I had brought Jake home then chosen to look the other way?

If I had chosen to not take a stand for what I believe needed change.

What would I be doing?

I can’t even beging to imagine because Helpusadopt.org is now who I am.

Love much,

xob

What is it about sticking stuff in a mail box?

Why do kids think it’s fun?

I can’t for the life of me figure it out…..

But The Boy is no exception to the rule.

So I let him.

And when it’s something important I usually tell him to be extra careful on the way to the mail box.

Like when we send out grant checks for Helpusadopt.org.

And he knows.

He knows that the check he’s holding will help to bring a child like him home.

He knows that the check he’s holding will help to make someone like me a mother.

He knows that the check he’s holding will help to build a family.

And he loves it.

He smiles from ear to ear.

So this morning when we put some bills in the mail he turned to me and said:

“That just helped someone become a parent.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was our American Express and Electric bills….

But don’t worry…..come December, Helpusadopt.org will be sending out more grant checks to build those families.

And I’ll be sure that The Boy is the one to stick them in the mail box.

Love much,

xob

Many of you have asked…..and so I will tell you.

The recent flurry of comments on An Infertile Blonde……

I am not upset.

I am not hurt.

I welcome the conversation—believe it or not—I do.

I have always known that adoption was controversial—even before it became a part of my life.

An no, I am not adopted (so please don’t point that out).

And just because I am not an adoptee doesn’t mean I have had a perfect life free of sadness and disappointment, nor am I looking for your sympathy.

But I am an adoptive mother.

And before I was an adoptive mother I was (and will always be) an Infertile Blonde…..and if anyone wants to make blanket statements on that topic feel free to.

But I will tell you that infertility is not an enjoyable road to walk down—even if your treatments are successful—it is not a road I would wish on anyone.

I am very grateful for the option of adoption.

I am very grateful to my son’s birth parents.

I will always love his birthmother especially for the courageous road she journeyed for our family.

As an adoptive mother I also am aware that adoption is not for everyone.

But in our house it is a blessing.

In our house it is talked about openly.

In our house we feel so grateful.

And in our house we do not forget others.

So it is not with anger that I read the comments but more with an open heart and mind to the fact that our world is far from perfect and at times very sad.

And while I remain open to the conversations and always look to learn something new every day—especially on the topic of adoption—I hope that others who ask that I remain open minded remain open minded themselves.

Because while I value everyone’s comments (and I really do), please be aware that your blanket and generalized opinions are not valid for everyone either.

I have not walked in your shoes and you have certainly not walked in mine.

Love much,

xob

School started yesterday.

He was so excited —he was dressed and ready to go an hour before we had to leave.

We took pictures.

We walked to school holding hands.

And when he let go to run into his classroom, I had to catch my breath.

My boy.

My son.

At pick up he was all smiles.

“Mom we have show and tell this year.”

“That’s great—do you know what that is?” I asked.

“No but I love it.” was what he said.

And I know he will.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t want to take in a Venus Fly Trap.

Love much,

xob

I never said I was dumb.

Just infertile.

And not so good at science and math.

Love much,

xob

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.  Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”

H. Jackson Brown

Love much,

xob