Yesterday, while cleaning my office (read: total nightmare) I came across a brochure someone had sent me called “Creatively Financing An Adoption.”
OK. I’ll bite.
Tell me more.
“Often families who adopt do not have the total amount of money for the adoption costs readily available.”
No Shit Sherlock.
“The good news is that families from all economic situations do adopt and defray the costs by tapping into a variety of resources and strategies.”
Ok I think to myself. This should be good.
I start reading.
And I can feel the bile rising in the back of my throat.
I think I am going to be sick.
First the pamphlet talks about “examining your current budget.”
It suggests that you examine your top priorities. I sincerely hope they aren’t asking if I have prioritized having a child? Could they possibly be suggesting that I am not taking this seriously enough?
It lists some grant programs (FYI they do not list Helpusadopt.org) and I know only too well that the programs listed only give grants up to $5,000 and do not have enough resources to go around. Some of the programs listed aren’t accepting any more applications for 2009.
Now I come to an insane solution: CREDIT CARDS. And if my eyes aren’t deceiving me, I do believe this pamphlet is suggesting that adoptive parents take out a cash advance against their credit cards. They do however in small print suggest that this is a loan and should be paid off as soon as possible.
This is a solution?
Perhaps one can pay off the credit card loan with the second job that they then suggest you take on.
Or perhaps you can pay off your credit card debt with the bake sale, car wash or garage sale that they also suggest you have.
Let’s see……
Our first adoption, including all travel expenses, totaled roughly $40,000. Now if I could charge $5 a car wash it would only take me washing 8000 cars to reach my goal. If we think I could charge $10 a car then I would only have to wash 4000!
And if I were to have a bake sale and sell a small bag of cookies for .50 cents it would only take 80,000 bags of cookies to raise $40,000 —- but then again that doesn’t include backing out my expenses or time. Because I have to bake the cookies right?
And if I were to have a rummage sale, I would literally have to sell everything I own…..and there’s a good chance I wouldn’t reach $40,000—and then my home would be empty.
Keep in mind I am expected to do this in my spare time because I work full time to keep a roof over my head.
Now I can just picture the author of this brochure saying as he or she is reading my blog shaking their head and saying: “She’s being too literal, she couldn’t possibly do that alone, that’s not what we were suggesting..”
But that’s exactly my point.
Adoptive parents are ALONE in all this.
Can you imagine asking someone to help you out financially so that you can have a child?
The brochure suggests that people will WANT (they capitalize it) to help you.
Ummmmm…..of course people would WANT to help you but can they? And should they have to?
The expense of an adoption is EXTREME….and most American’s don’t have this money lying around.
And all the car washes, bake sales and rummage sales in the world won’t solve this problem.
I know that from our applicants.
They’ve tried to do it.
They’ve failed.
According to statistics an average adoption is $30,000 and the median household income is $50,322 (before taxes).
You do the math.
And as the brochure points out there are some employers who give financial adoption benefits (which is amazingly generous) —but these aren’t paid until you have officially finalized your adoption. This means that you have already had to come up with all the money.
And yes, as the brochure points out, there is a tax credit (also amazingly generous—let’s just hope the bill gets renewed) but again, it is not paid out until the year you finalize. Again, you have already had to come up with the funds.
It is the upfront payment in full that for many is impossible.
And this is why we created Helpusadopt.org a grant program that helps couples/individuals with the costs of their adoptions by awarding grants of up to $15,000.
My husband and I decided not to ignore the problem and we decided to actually to do something about it.
We believe in working towards a solution to this problem.
And no, we don’t have enough money to help everyone who applies.
But someday we will.
With all do respect, it is quite clear that the authors of this brochure have not personally financed an adoption.
This brochure gives false hope to people who need help with the costs of their adoptions.
This brochure gives those people a false sense of security that paying for an adoption might actually be easy after all.
Perhaps I am being too harsh.
It’s not the author’s fault that the economics of adoption don’t really work for most people.
But then again, I’m not the one suggesting we solve this problem with bake sales and car washes.
www.helpusadopt.org
Love much,
xob
