On Monday Helpusaodpt.org will be awarding another $50,000 in grants.

 I am the lucky girl who gets to call eight families and tell them that they are the  recipients of a Helpusaodpt.org grant!

Just so you know….I won’t get through the first call without crying.

I am so grateful to our donors who make this all possible!

But….

I am also the unlucky girl who gets to send out almost 300 letters to applicants telling them that “unfortunately do to our limited funds Helpusaodpt.org is unable to grant your request.”

We would have needed almost 3 million dollars to grant everyones request.

There is no way to sugar coat that letter…….

And there is no way to let these people know how torn up I am that we have to deliver the news.

But we have to let them know. They at least deserve a response. 

But life is funny….a year and  a half ago Helpusadopt.org didn’t exist. 

We weren’t even an option for adoption assistance.

Thank god I was An Infertile Blonde is all I am going to say!!!!!

Many people told us not to do this because it would be so hard.

And they were right….it is hard but we did it anyway.

Many people told us not to do this because it would consume our lives.

And they were right….but we love every minute of it and we did it anyway.

Many people told us that our concept wouldn’t work and that finding the donor support would be hard.

Well…..they were just plain wrong on that one.

Thank god we didn’t listen….both for us and the 16 children who now have homes thanks to our first two rounds of grants.

Come Monday the number will grow to 24.

Love much,

xob

Right now.

 

When 9:00 rolls around my other wise quiet life (ok so maybe not) becomes a little crazy. 

First through the door today is CD my right hand at Helpusadopt.org. The dogs are thrilled (they love her) and Jake is even more thrilled (he might have a little crush). 

 

Five minutes later A (my beloved nanny) who literally is part of our family and loves The Boy as much as we do, strolls through the door and once again the dogs go nuts (you’d think they would catch on after three years).

 

Two seconds later K and CL (my summer interns who I couldn’t live without) come in too—-and once again Jake is thrilled and so are the dogs. 

 

Thank got husband has already left for the day—not sure he could handle this.

 

So here we are 5 women (7 if you included the dogs) and one little boy.

 

Jake is in heaven and drags CL (the newest addition to the group) into his room to play trains.  I think CD and K might have some competition. 

 

Everyone needs the update on Farrah Girl—-who’s update now includes the recent  accident in the hallway (right in front of the elevator)  and the purchase of “doggie diapers” (will have to fill you in later).

 

Update also includes my cute Target ruffle dress that I am wearing today (sorry no picture because it just won’t photograph well)

 

And then we get to work!

 I’ve got girls at desks, girls in the dining rooms and girls on the floor. 

 

I jokingly refer to my office as the “World Wide Headquarters for The Fawcett Group PR and Helpusadopt.org” but what comes out of this non-conventional office is nothing short of amazing.

 

Someday I would like to have a real office (ok and maybe another computer)……but for now we are here.  

And I have no intention of going anywhere.

 

Because while to some this might seem like a nightmare….to me it is perfect.

 

Perfect for one very little boy reason.

 

I am here.

 

I am here to get him up in the morning.

 

I am here to take him to school.

 

I am here for lunch.

 

And I am here at the end of the day to get dinner ready.

 

And better yet, I’ll be here when I become a mom again…..hopefully soon. 

 

Who says you can’t have it all?

 

Love much,

xob

 

 

 

 

In honor of today being the first day that you can officially wear all white without risking judgement….

I wore head to toe black to our Memorial Day BBQ.

Love much,

xob

Whenever I think of Memorial Day all I can think of is “now you can wear white!”

But why?

Today is a georgeous warm summer day and a cute white dress would be perfect— but it’s not technically ok to wear white??? 

Can’t you just see it? And I just bought the cutest three tiered one from J. Crew.

But then someone would whisper “oh that poor girl, doesn’t she know you aren’t supposed to wear white before Memorial Day? ”

Let me think about it…..

Yeah…..don’t really care.

Which brings me to my rules part 2.

1. Wear white whenever you feel like it….who cares.

2.  Above and beoyond anything else…teach your children to be kind and empathetic  towards others. 

3. Always hold the door for ANYONE with a stroller.  It’s just good karma and trust me—they need the help.

4. This last rule I learned from my dear friend Linda and it helped shape me into the person I am today.   NEVER take no for an answer unless it is the answer you are looking for.

Happy Friday……..

Love much,

xob

My Farrah girl.

 

On our first wedding anniversary (September 1997) Kipp and I got a puppy.

 

A seven pound chocolate lab.

 

And we named her Farrah (please don’t make me explain.)

 

And we were instantly in love.

 

We had no idea how much we would love this little furry face…..the love was so intense it hurt sometimes…..

 

Like when she needed leg surgery at her first birthday.

 

Like when she started having seizures at three and we found out she had epilepsy.

 

Like when last year we found out she has Cushings Disease (incurable).

 

But every step of the way we have gotten the best care for her and taken care of our baby.

 

 She is about to turn 12 on August 2^nd—which is OLD in Lab years.

 

But this past Monday…..

 

Something was wrong…..

 

Something was drastically wrong.

 

At first I thought she was having a seizure, but then I realized she’d hurt her front leg and couldn’t walk. 

 

She would stand up and fall over….face first.

 

I would try to pick her up and would struggle with her 70lb body.

 

I tried to stay calm.

 

By Monday night things were worse……

 

Kipp and I took turns with her throughout the night…….

 

We surrounded her with industrial size wee-wee pads just in case…..

 

And when we woke up at 6 she had used the pads and they were covered with blood.

 

I tried to hold it together but I was worried. Very worried.

 

I called the vet as soon as they opened and told them it was an emergency.

 

I started crying on the phone.

 

They said to come right over.

 

It took me a while to make it the three blocks because she was having such trouble walking. 

 

It was devastating.

 

But we got there.

 

The nurses love us…mostly because I named my dog Farrah (I hope you’ve figured it out),

 

And once in the exam room I sat down on the floor with her and cried.

 

I’ve been through IVF.

 

I’ve been through miscarriages.

 

I’ve been through the adoption process…endured the good and the bad.

 

I am prepared for disappointments.

 

I am prepared for setbacks.

 

But I am not prepared for death.

 

Especially not Farrah’s……because while I have been through all of the above, she’s been by my side.

 

Her loyalty never fades.

 

The nurse walks in and notices me on the floor.  She stops mid sentence…… “Mrs. Fawcett?” (OK I hate being called Mrs. Fawcett) “Are you ok?”

 

“No. I am not ok.” And I took off my giant sunglasses.

 

My guess is she’d never seen me without make up and since I’d been crying, I must have looked like hell—I sure felt like it.

 

She looked slightly uncomfortable.

 

“Mrs. Fawcett….we are going to take good care of your girl.”

 

I talked briefly with the Vet, kissed my girl and walked home.

 

Please don’t take my Farrah girl….please don’t take my Farrah girl….please don’t take my Farrah girl….please don’t take my Farrah girl.

 

But she was 12.

 

And this dog had defied the odds over the years….her luck and mine was bound to run out at some point.

 

The Vet called at noon to tell me that Farrah was going to be ok. 

 

Not only did she have a severe case of Lyme’s disease, she had a terrible urinary track infection—hence the blood—but it was all treatable.

 

I said a silent thank you—-not sure to who— figuring I had just called in a favor from above but it was worth it.

 

So here we are two days later and my girl is doing so much better.

 

The limp is hardly noticeable.

 

And on your noon time walk if you happened to see An Infertile Blonde in a long black dress squatting by a chocolate lab who was peeing—-well, that was me.

 

How else do you get a urine sample from a dog?

 

But I love my Farrah and I’ll do anything to make sure she’s ok.

 

That’s one of the things about being a mom…you just do what you have to do to take care of your “babies”…..no matter how unglamorous.

 

Love much,

xob

Swimsuit season this year.

First of all, as you know from yesterday, I have no summer plans so I guess it really doesn’t matter anyway….

BUT…..

If by some chance I end up at a pool or the beach—all will be fine.

Now, don’t get me wrong….the old bod is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination…..

I still have my mother’s knees, and some cellulite (which just doesn’t go away)….and the small boob issue (ok no boob issue)—

Now as many people like to remind me—I don’t have stretch marks (for obvious reasons)–but I still have my mother’s knees—

Which I would gladly trade for a stretch mark or two!

But at 39, I am feeling ok with the way I look—as long as I have a sarong!

I wish I could say that I just look this way—-but I can’t.

It’s thanks to Jeremy Sample (www.jeremysample.com).

Saying he’s amazing doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Put it this way……he makes me stronger than I ever thought I could be. 

Twice a week—that’s about all I can take.

But what a difference this guy has made in my life.

And this morning, as I almost died on “The Row” —I was very glad to have Jeremy by my side……

Because he believes….

And now so do I.

Love much,

xob

I have none.

I didn’t have any winter vacation plans.

And now that Summer is just round the corner, I realize that I have no summer plans either.

Why?

I’ll tell you why.

After last Summer, I was so sure that a baby was just around the corner that I put my life on hold.

Again.

You’d think I would learn.

But I didn’t.

I was convinced I’d have another baby by Christmas 2008.

So there was no need for a Winter 2009 vacation.

Or Spring Break.

And who in their right mind would want me visiting in the Summer with a    3 1/2 year old and a new born? (People without babies like to sleep through the night.)

So I made no plans thinking I’d be home with a baby.

And quite frankly, if that were the case, I would be so happy just to stay home and enjoy the moment.

But here we are.

Memorial Day 2009 and I have no plans……and I have no baby.

But I do have Kipp and I do have The Boy.

I am one lucky Infertile Blonde and I am going to stop putting my life on hold.

Will keep you posted on the Summer plans……….

Love much,

xob

Not here that’s for sure.

I will be turning 39 in two weeks.

And it’s really bothering me.

Not that I am turning 39……..

But that I am turning 39 as the mother of one…..not the 2 or 3 I imagined I’d have by now.

Eight years ago on my 31st birthday I went off the pill.

And in true “Becky fashion” I thought it would be no problem to get pregnant.

How hard could it be?

It never occurred to me that it might be difficult.

Long story short…..I was wrong….very wrong.

Here I am 8 years later.

I’ve lived through five rounds of IVF , three miscarriages, one adoption and am in the midst of a second.

I don’t think that anyone truly understands how grateful I am for The Boy—except maybe my husband.

And I don’t think anyone truly understands how much I am longing to be a mother again—-except maybe my husband.

If you had asked me at my 31st birthday where I would be at 39 I certainly wouldn’t have thought this.

I could have never imagined the struggle I was about to face to become a mother.

I never imagined how HARD i would have to work to become a mother….

I could have never imgined the heartache involved…..

But here I am …mother of one…one very sweet boy….

and someday soon…..

I will to be mother to two.

Someday……

I can’t wait.

Love much,

xob

My day started like any other day…..

Alarm went off at 6:30 am and I could barely get out of bed.

Am not a morning person.

Coffee….must have coffee……

And the Post…..

Oh and look, there’s a picture of Madonna and her son David…..

Except the picture reads “Madonna with her adopted son David.”

I have not had enough coffee for this….

Why?

What would the picture have read if she had been pictured with Lourdes and David?

Why as a society are we labeling children like this?

They are children.

Why can’t it simply read “Madonna and her son David…..”

Some are adopted….some are not……but in the end they are all the same….

They are children……

And they are loved by their parents….

Love much,

xob

I was so excited to see that my new bookclub books arrived to day from K.

Hmmmm…..

Where to start…..

Tori or Candy Spelling……decisions….decisions…..

I think I’ll start with Mommywood—although K might tell me Candy-Land is where it’s at!

Now if I just had some extra time to read…..

Love much,

xob